080-097 BETONY VERNON / IN THE BOUDOIR

/ VILSBOL DE ARCE BEIGE LEATHER DRESS, LOANNA HASELTINE CORSET







/ & // JEAN PAUL GAULTIER ARCHIVE CORSET, WOLFORD TIGHTS, PARADISE FOUND HORSEHAIR BRUSH RING & WOVEN RED LEATHER WHIP, THIMISTER COUTURE SKIRTS & HAIDER ACKERMANN LEATHER BELT ON THE FLOOR





MONIKA BIELSKYTE / I’VE BEEN THINKING THAT THERE ARE SO FEW ARTWORKS THAT DEAL WITH SEXUALITY IN A PROFOUNDLY SENSUAL WAY, SOMETHING THAT HAS REAL SEXUAL POWER, A REAL MYSTERY ABOUT IT. IS THIS ONE OF YOUR GOALS?

BETONY VERNON / THERE’S A SAD DIVISION IN OUR WESTERN CULTURE BETWEEN SEXUALITY AND SENSUALITY. ONE OF MY PRINCIPLE GOALS IS TO DISMANTLE WHAT I CALL THE PLEASURE TABOO, IT IS INGRAINED UPON THE DNA OF WESTERNERS MORE THAN THE TABOO OF SEX ITSELF— REGARDLESS OF HOW MUCH OR HOW LITTLE RELIGIOUS INFLUENCE WE HAVE BEEN EXPOSED TO. A LOT OF PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT LEARNING ABOUT SEX AS A LIFELONG JOURNEY— AND THEREBY DEVELOPING AND ENHANCING OUR SEXUAL SKILLS— WILL KILL THE MYSTERY OF SEX. THIS IS ANOTHER MYTH, AND IT ONLY SERVES TO PERPETUATE THE PLEASURE TABOO; SUCH REFUSAL TO SEE OUR SEXUAL SELVES AS A LIFELONG WORK-IN-PROGRESS ULTIMATELY LIMITS OUR SEXUAL SATISFACTION.
IN REALITY, IF WE DON’T LEARN HOW TO KEEP THE FIRES OF DESIRE BURNING AFTER THE INITIAL MAGIC OF PHEREMONAL ATTRACTION HAS SUBSIDED, OUR LOVE AFFAIRS ARE NOT LIKELY TO ENDURE. SEXUAL SATISFACTION IS THE GLUE THAT BONDS HEALTHY AND ENDURING RELATIONSHIPS. KNOWING HOW TO PROVIDE AND ATTAIN HEIGHTENED DEGREES OF PLEASURE CAN ONLY ENHANCE A LONG-TERM BOND, AND KEEPS US ALL THE MORE ATTRACTED TO EACH OTHER.
THE WESTERN WORLD’S SECOND SEXUAL LIBERATION MOVEMENT WAS INSTIGATED BY DR KINSEY IN THE 1950’S. IT GAINED MOMENTUM THROUGHOUT THE 1960’S AND BURST INTO FULL BLOOM BY 1970. IN THE BEGINNING OF THE 1980’S, HIV HALTED WHAT SEEMED TO BE THE PROMISE OF THE DAWNING OF AN ERA OF SEXUAL ENLIGHTENMENT. HIV SUDDENLY OVERSHADOWED THE SEXUAL REVOLUTION THAT WAS ON COURSE. THE GRIM REAPER SEEDED SEXUAL FEAR— AND, I DARE SAY, IT BRED A FORM OF SEXUAL TERRORISM… WHICH MAY HELP TO EXPLAIN THE SUCCESS OF DRUGS LIKE ECSTASY. APPARENTLY, ECSTASY ACTUALLY INHIBITS THE SEX DRIVE UNLESS IT IS TAKEN WITH COCAINE OR VIAGRA— A DANGEROUS MIX. BY THE TIME EVERYONE WAS TAKING THAT SO-CALLED LOVE DRUG, I HAD STOPPED EXPERIMENTING WITH DRUGS BEYOND THOSE THAT MY BODY PRODUCES ON ITS OWN! THESE NATURAL BODY DRUGS ARE CALLED ENDORPHINS. THEY NOT ONLY MAKE US FEEL GOOD, BUT THEY ALSO INCREASE OUR TOLERANCE TO PAIN. INTERESTINGLY, THEY HAVE A CHEMICAL STRUCTURE WHICH IS QUITE SIMILAR TO THAT OF OPIATES, AND THAT’S WHY ‘THE SEXUAL HIGH’ FEELS SO GOOD. OF COURSE, THIS HIGH IS NOT SOMETHING THAT YOU CAN EXPERIEINCE DURING FAST SEX, AS IT TAKES TIME AND LOTS OF SWEET ATTENTION TO GET THEM TO PUMP READILY THROUGH THE BLOOD STREAM.

[..]

MB / THERE IS THAT INCREDIBLE PHRASE BY YUKIO MISHIMA THAT I LOVE SO MUCH, ‘THEY ARE VERY WELL AWARE THAT ONLY THROUGH SEXUAL DESIRE MAY ONE APPROACH GOD; THAT IS, BEAUTY’.

BV / I AGREE WITH YUKIO MISHIMA; THE ORGASM IS PROBALBY THE CLOSEST WE CAN COME TO ENLIGHTENMENT WITHOUT MEDITATING. IN FACT, THE TAOISTS CONSIDERED SKILLFUL LOVEMAKING THE BEST ROUTE TO SPIRITUAL ILLUMINATION NEXT TO MEDITATION ITSELF. THINK ABOUT IT: YOU CANNOT REALLY REACH THE HEIGHTS OF AN ORGASMIC IMPACT IF YOU ARE NOT COMPLETELY DETACHED FROM REALITY, FROM EARTHLY MATTERS, FROM WORRIES AND STRESS AND ANXIETIES. IN FACT, IF YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU FORGOT TO DO OR ABOUT HOW MUCH CELLULITE YOU HAVE, OR HOW FAT YOU FEEL AND THINGS LIKE THIS, YOU ARE NOT LIKELY TO GET THE BEST OUT OF YOUR SEXUAL ENDEAVOURS. IN ORDER TO ELABORATE THE SEXUAL CEREMONY, YOU HAVE TO FORGET ABOUT REALITY FOR A WHILE AND ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING THAT TROUBLES YOU TOO. THE CEREMONIAL DIMENSION IS A MOMENTARY TRANSITION INTO ANOTHER REALM. IT IS A FEW DEGREES REMOVED FROM ‘REALITY’, AND IT HELPS US TO TRANSCEND THE EARTHLY REALM AND TO COMMUNICATE ON ANOTHER LEVEL… PERHAPS EVEN WITH THE GODS! WHY NOT? SEXUAL ECSTASY DISSOLVES, HOWEVER MOMENTARILY, THE EGO. MAKING LOVE IS THE GREAT ESCAPE, IT DISSOLVES REALITY. THE GREEKS CALLED THIS STATE ‘ÉXTASIS’, AND IT IMPLIED NOT ONLY ONENESS WITH ONESELF AND WITH ONE’S PARTNER, BUT ONENESS WITH GOD.

[..]

MB / HAVE YOU LOST SOMEONE YOU DEARLY LOVED?

BV / YES, A FEW TIMES AND EVEN MOST RECENTLY. BUT I HAD COME TO REALISE THAT THIS PERSON HAD SO MUCH PAIN INSIDE THAT THEY WEREN’T DEALING WITH IN A HEALTHY WAY THAT THEY WOULD NEVER BE RIGHT FOR ME. MY TRAUMAS, MY LOSSES, EVEN MY MOST PAINFUL LOSSES, I SEE THEM AS MY ASSETS ONCE I GET TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THEM; THEY ARE THINGS UPON WHICH TO GROW. MY LIFE, MY TIME, AND MY LOVE ARE MY GOLD, THEY ARE PRECIOUS COMMODITIES. LOVE CAN HEAL MANY THINGS, BUT IF A PERSON IS NOT INCLINED TO HEALING— IF THEY DON’T ACTUALLY WANT TO HEAL OR ARE AFRAID TO HEAL, THEN THERE IS NO MAGIC REMEDY. IN ORDER TO SURVIVE, NOT ONLY IN LOVE BUT ALSO IN LIFE, WE NEED TO SEEK BALANCE. I AM VERY AWARE THAT MY HAPPINESS IS UP TO ME, AND THAT WHEN SOMEONE WONDERFUL COMES INTO MY LIFE, THEY’RE LIKE THE CHERRIES ON MY CAKE. I HAVE NEVER ALLOWED MYSELF TO DEPEND ON SOMEONE ELSE FOR MY HAPPINESS, PEOPLE WHO DO THIS WILL NEVER BE HAPPY. WE MUST NOT CONFOUND LOVE WITH CO-DEPENDENCE.


/ Excerpt from A CONVERSATION WITH BETONY VERNON. ENTIRE 18 PAGE ARTICLE ONLY IN PRINTED EDITION OF SOME/THINGS MAGAZINE ISSUE003 / FAREWELL MY CONCUBINE







/ JEAN PAUL GAULTIER DRESS WITH INTERGRATED CORSET, THIMISTER COUTURE GLOVE, MAISON MARTIN MARGIELA ARTISINAL DRESS & SKIRT, PARADISE FOUND JEWELLERY





/ PHOTOGRAPHY BY MONIKA BIELSKYTE / STYLING ELLEN AF GEIJERSTAM / LIGHTS CHARLI LJUNG / HAIR & MAKE UP TANYA GANDRE